


Candy Corn Discourse

by dorkslayer



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Discourse, Gen, Halloween, Humor, Rated Teen for language use, Shiro Has Had Enough, Whoo boy where to start, candy corn, fall - Freeform, plus first work in this fandom go me, this is really short i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8255878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkslayer/pseuds/dorkslayer
Summary: Written for the tumblr prompt "Person A loves candy corn. Person B thinks it’s the literal spawn of Satan."Lance and Keith disagree on some things





	

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this on tumblr and immediately exited out of the app and opened up my notepad app and wrote this. on a related note I love everything about the fall but candy corn is not one of them you go Lance.

All things considered, Lance doesn't actually hate Keith. Sure, they might have gotten off on the wrong foot at first, and they do still have their moments, but Keith's not so bad. What does get Lance going however, is some of Keith's habits.

Now, Lance doesn't get worked up easily, he's got five younger siblings so his patience is on par with the greats (aka Shiro). But some of the things Keith does just flips a switch in him. Like the fact that he always takes showers that are just a smidge too long. And he just leaves his shoes in the middle of the hallway when he comes home.

But Lance can deal with that for the most part. But this. This is something Lance cannot forgive.

"Keith. What the fuck are you doing?" He deadpans. He's had a long day alright? His patience is wearing thin, and there's only so much a man can take before he snaps. This is the straw that breaks the camels back. 

Keith looks back at him innocently, like he doesn't know exactly what Lance is talking about. "Standing? What else would I be doing?"

"No, what are you eating?" Maybe Keith will try to deny it, pass it off as a joke or pretend it wasn't even his. But Keith just looks even more confused.

"Oh. It's candy corn. Want some?"

"Wha- want some??" Is Keith trying to kill him? Lance really thought they had a great friendship in the works, but this is the ultimate betrayal.

Keith doesn't drop his befuddled act. "Yeah. It's really good, one of my favorites actually." This sentence makes Lance die inside a little. Looks like Keith had already been Deceived.

"Keith, put the corn down?" Lance says calmly. Perhaps this situation can be solved with rationalism.

"What? No. Why?" So that's how it's gonna play out. Lance is gonna have to pull out the Big Guns.

"Because Keith, candy corn is an abomination on this earth and is loved by only cold, heartless people." Lance shouted. "Oh. And, you know, the devil." He tacked on.

"What? Candy corn is great. You don't know what you're talking about." Now Keith just seems angry. His eyes have gone dark and stormy and his fist clenches, spilling some of the offending candy in the process. 

"Great?? GreAT?" Lance lets out a maniacal laugh. "They're poison Keith. Now put them down, or I'll do it for you!" He yells. He probably looks unhinged right now, but can't find it in him to care. The only things he feels are rage and disgust.

Keith's eyes tighten and his empty hand drags the bag of candy across the island. "Id like to see you try."

Lance remains justified that his next actions were not at all an over-reaction. Keith says that the enraged battle cry and flying tackle was probably taking it a tad too far.

Once he has Keith on the ground it's an all out war. Smacking and kicking, hair pulling on Lances part and Keith has the nerve to bite him a few times. Candy corn flies every where, covering their kitchen floor, probably hiding in cracks and crevices like the parasite it is. They both fight valiantly, but only one man can reign victorious.

\-----------

Shiro has had a pretty great day so far. All of his classes went off without a hitch and even work seemed more subdued and slow today. He's walking home with Hunk too, who's a great travel partner, and can make even an awful day seem great.

So yeah, his day is going good. At least until he and Hunk came to their building, where enraged shouting can be heard from the 1st floor. He groans. Good things just weren't made to last.

He and Hunk make it up the stairs in record time, and finally find the source of the racket. It sounds like someone is being slowly murdered in their apartment. He takes a deep, calming breath and opens the door.

"YOU HEATHEN. BURN IN HELL WHERE YOU BELONG."

"I THOUGHT I ALREADY WAS. I GUESS ITS JUST AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE WHEN IM AROUND YOU."

"IM GOING TO SLAUGHTER YOU."

"TRY ME BITCH."

Hunk cowers behind him, and Shiro takes in the wreckage. The coffee table was flipped over and multiple chairs were overturned, it also seemed like the couch had been stripped of all the pillows, which were all strewn on the floor. It the middle of it all was Lance and Keith.

Lance had a plastic candelabra in one hand and was hitting Keith with it, while Keith defended himself with a pillow and retaliated by throwing candy (?) at Lance. It was a sight to behold.

Shiro and Hunk shared a Look. There was a moment of silence in the doorway before Shiro spoke up.

"Let Pidge deal with it and go grab a coffee?"

"Oh absolutely." Hunk agreed solemnly. 

As they exited the floor there was a loud crash from inside and they both flinched, but neither turned around to check what it was. Because whatever it was, it was Pidges problem now.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are the blood in my veins pls validate me.
> 
> If I have any grammar mistakes please tell me!


End file.
